Forum:The Pub/National anthem

This a subpage of The Pub where we will discuss the creation of a national anthem. Everybody may join and contribute!

Lyrics
I was thinking to include several literary and poetic elements in the anthem. "O! Via" might be suited to borrow from. But, as OWTB pointed out, we are nowhere without meter. What I suggest is that we all make proper (good!) suggestions - sentences, chorus lines, whatever - and that I and people who are willing to help adapt it to a suited meter. An iambic pentameter perhaps? It is the most suitable for English. Trochaic might be another option. This will render a more "military march" style. 07:28, May 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * Then I'm for trochaic :P --O u WTBsjrief-mich 07:30, May 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * I think we should include some oetry elements Pierlot McCrooke 07:34, May 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * I agree, Pierlot. That won't be a problem if we use trochees or at least trochaic substitutions. 07:34, May 12, 2010 (UTC)

Structure
Let's say we need a couple of stanzas, each with a central topic. Some topic suggestions:

...
 * Lovia's discovery and idyllic birth
 * Lovia's natural beauty
 * Lovia, land of opportunity?
 * Lovia's monarchy
 * Lovia's youngness
 * Lovia's wealth

Please add. 07:31, May 12, 2010 (UTC)


 * I'm in doubt over "land of opportunity". --O u WTBsjrief-mich 07:35, May 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * Myeah. 07:38, May 12, 2010 (UTC)

Chorus?
Could this serve as our chorus? 07:47, May 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * Or is it way over the top?  07:47, May 12, 2010 (UTC)

I think it is suitable Pierlot McCrooke 07:51, May 12, 2010 (UTC)

O! My Lovia, isles of freedom O | my | LO | via | ISLES | of | FREE | dom trochee || trochee || trochee || trochee

Lovia, land of excellency LO | via | LAND | of | EX | cell | en | CY trochee || trochee || trochee || iamb (substitution)

BTW: The iambic substitution at the end is very unusual... We should definitely change that. Perhaps make it a pentameter after all? 07:51, May 12, 2010 (UTC)

Version 1
I made a first version. It's partly based on existing anthems (because I'm just not an anthem writer ), has some tiny references to "O! Via" and to Oetry in general. It's not exactly written on meter, but it sure has some rhythm. Tell me what you guys think of it. 11:34, May 22, 2010 (UTC)


 * Tis here we are pledging,
 * with heart and with hand,
 * Full measure of devotion
 * to you, our native land.


 * O! My Lovia, isles of freedom,
 * Lovia, land of excellency.


 * People of every creed and race
 * Gather here along the road
 * Praising our ocean's flower
 * Over the islands wide abroad.


 * O! My Lovia, isles of freedom,
 * Lovia, land of excellency.


 * Sweet pearls of the ocean rich,
 * Let our love for you increase.
 * May your fine spotless fame
 * Bless our King without cease.


 * We all work together,
 * with hearts, voice and hand,
 * Till we have made these islands
 * another promised land.


 * O! My Lovia, isles of freedom,
 * Lovia, land of excellency.

not bad! Shouldn't we bring this to congress? 06:01, May 25, 2010 (UTC)

I like it! Especially the first and last stanzas and the chorus. The middle two stanzas... well, I can't explain exactly what I dislike about them. I guess it's just I don't like phrases like 'Let our love for you increase' and ocean's flower'.

Each line will probably have to have the same number of syllables as the corresponding lines in other stanzas, otherwise it won't fit the music.

I also wrote a couple of stanzas. They're not that good, but they can easily be changed. Semyon Edikovich 11:44, June 5, 2010 (UTC)


 * And on the mountains, on the hills,
 * Your rolling, wide green pastures grow.
 * And across the open plains,
 * Cool refreshing rivers flow.


 * Here, O Lovia, have our fathers lived,
 * And here we too shall make our home.
 * We are content, native land,
 * and shall not attempt to roam.

I also think it should have the phrase 'Lovia, you are the light of the dawn!' in somewhere :) Semyon Edikovich 11:44, June 5, 2010 (UTC)

Melody, music
I suppose OWTB is our man here to help us out. Once we have a basic outline of what our anthem will look like (the lyrics), we'll need our most musical people to fetch us a melody. 07:28, May 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * It should sound happy and delightful I dislike bombastic anthems. Harold Freeman 10:17, May 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * You mean like this? :P --O u WTBsjrief-mich 16:43, June 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * No, he meant like this.  07:28, June 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * I hate jazz :P --O u WTBsjrief-mich 09:25, June 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * Allez, I just got into jazz  10:31, June 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * Wa :P --O u WTBsjrief-mich 11:24, June 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * I wrote a tune, but I'm not sure how to upload sound files. Meanwhile, here's an image of the score. (Conveniently, the music fits the stanzas I posted above very well but for the sake of my modesty I put a slightly adapted version of one of Dimitri's verses on the score.)LNS_version_1.jpg Semyon Edikovich 11:52, June 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * Wow, you actually wrote that? You can upload sound files like images, just make sure it has an ogg.-extension. You can find several mp3 to ogg converters on the net that might prove useful.  12:09, June 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * OK, here it is. The program I made it on wasn't that good, so you'll just have to imagine there's 50 trumpets playing it or something . I'm not that musical, so it still needs some work. I'm quite proud of it though. Semyon Edikovich 14:11, June 8, 2010 (UTC)[[File:LNA_version_1.ogg]]
 * Wow man, I absolutely this! !  14:54, June 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * Thanks, that sounds sincere. . Semyon Edikovich 15:46, June 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * I like it too :P Though, de evige kritikus, the chords are sometimes not fully correct, making it a bit dissonant, but who cares :P --O u WTBsjrief-mich 17:14, June 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * Here's the 'new and improved' version. Forgive my ignorance, but what does de evige kritikus mean? Google Translate says "the eternal critic"? [[File:LNA_version_2.ogg]] Semyon Edikovich 13:00, June 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * Google translate is correct.  13:22, June 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * Anyone still interested in this project? Semyon E. Breyev 12:56, August 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * Sure, just let me get a go at it...  13:58, August 12, 2010 (UTC)

New Attempt
Looks like our earlier attempt didn't turn out so good. I think I have a (better) melody that would be easier to stick lyrics onto, and has a nicer tune to it. I'll upload it as MIDI, but if anyone would be nice enough, they could make it into OGG. My computer cannot function on ogg, for some reason or another. Here it is.

I think this could work as the chorus of the anthem. Edward Hannis 20:07, December 12, 2010 (UTC)

thumb|300px|rightIt's nice, but it feels like it's missing something. I think something more lively, bombastic and patriotic might be better. Something like the Brazilian anthem. Horton11 06:11, December 13, 2010 (UTC)

@Hannis - I would love to but i can't..sorry,

@Horton - no, copying other anthems. Marcus Villanova Music is Life.Lean Forward.Walden 21:08, December 13, 2010 (UTC)

@Marcus- I didn't mean copying. I just think the Lovian anthem should be like the Brazilian one, lively and energetic. Horton11 23:45, December 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * Not to be overly self-defendant, but consider that your Brazilian national anthem has a full orchestra. Imagine the same amount of trumpets playing, a similar percussion, and then you have an idea of what this is. Edward Hannis [[File:CogHammer.gif]] 23:50, December 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * Its just that the music seems sad. If you add more joyfulness to the music, it would be great. Horton11 00:32, December 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * It's actually already very bombastic and it sounds sad because of the piano. The idea of this anthem actually is the same as most other national anthems. The only problem I see is that sometimes a few chords do not seem to fit well with the melody line. --O u WTBsjrief-mich 06:05, December 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * It is wikipedia heritage that yuo cant upload anyting other than that open file format. We should ask for mp3 support. I didnt hear the anthem yet Pierlot McCrooke 06:25, December 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * We should make Carmina Burana our National Anthem. About as bombastic as it gets. Just really my taste. Pierius Magnus 06:27, December 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * @Pierius: how much I do like that piece (especially the opening/closing part), it is a little lengthy don't you think so?
 * @Hannis: I take it that you can compose? The piece looks nice but then again I didn't hear the symphonic orchestra version.
 * 07:09, December 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * Use your musical imagination and you'll hear it :P --O u WTBsjrief-mich 17:53, December 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * Carmina Burana is good, but not suited for an anthem. It is better for a movie. Horton11 18:37, December 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * Well, it is the first thing that comes to mind when you say "bombastic". And yes, I too love bombastic songs. Songs like these remind me of the grandeur of the Roman Empire or great armies marching. Pierius Magnus 19:31, December 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * @Medvedev - Yes, I do. There are two others songs for Vertical (see Vertical/Soundtrack) that I composed as well.
 * @Magnus & Horton - I've been working on a little something that is much more bombastic and exiting. However, it is an "anti-march"; it would be very different than normal marches. Not to mention that I have difficulty finding a singable melody to it.
 * Edward Hannis [[File:CogHammer.gif]] 23:58, December 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * Maybe something with a slower pace that is both delightful and delicate? The singing could then be a 'long stretched whining'. (If my description seems more poetic than musical, that is because I'm no good in music ) 06:33, December 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * @Yuri: It should be a "song with balls". Not a whiny song.
 * @Hannis: I do not understand what an "anti-march" would sound like, but I'm more pro-march. Ah, well: at least you'll make it "bombastic and exciting" and not lame. Pierius Magnus 08:03, December 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * As you have so kindly dismissed my effort, Edward, I feel I have a right to criticise your pathetic attempt . Seriously though, the individual parts are fine, but most pieces, especially ones like this, have a structure, and I'm not sure how this fits together. (sorry if that is completely incoherent). About it being 'sad': that's no problem. The best anthem ever ever ever (including the Internationale) is the Israeli one, and that's written in a minor key. Semyon 15:55, January 20, 2011 (UTC)
 * Okay, I dislike the general policy of Israel but that ís a @#!*%  of an anthem! Anyway, I think no anthem is better than a  @#!*%  one (like Belgium).  16:01, January 20, 2011 (UTC)
 * Nothing beats the Wilhelmus... every time I hear it, it warms my heart with pride as I stand up. Pierius Magnus 16:59, January 20, 2011 (UTC)
 * Bwa, I'm more staatsgezind/patriot (Oldenbarnevelt!), so not very fond of the Wilhelmus ^^. 17:11, January 20, 2011 (UTC)

Let's be fair
I'm not saying this out of personal ego, but I really do prefer my composition to Edward's, having listened to both. Now it seems mine has been pretty much ignored, despite the fact I posted it more than six months ago, so could you please comment on this. Being a kind person I have included both OGG and MID files. Semyon 16:48, January 20, 2011 (UTC)


 * I don't do MID, so I can only listen to your version, Semyon, and I like it :) 17:12, January 20, 2011 (UTC)
 * I'm thinking we go outside the box. Maybe we can do something on the side of John Mackey's Xerxes, a generic anti-march (which I played in an orchestra, lots of fun as a trumpet-player).
 * Xerxes by John Mackey
 * I can't help but smile in nostalgia when listening to that. So many saxophone-player eardrums broken during rehearsals... Edward Hannis  [[File:CogHammer.gif]] 00:47, January 21, 2011 (UTC)

Xerxes is a good song, but it doesn't exactly feel like a real anthem. Maybe something like Marching Matilda by J.P. Sousa(a march version of Waltzing matilda). Something bombastic and energetic's what I feel makes a good anthem. HORTON11 01:16, January 21, 2011 (UTC)